Offbeat: The Time a Girl Tried to Give Me Herpes

Gather round, kiddos. Andy’s going to tell you a story that happened 3 years ago.

It was late one Sunday night, the stars were twinkling, the normies were sleeping, Andy was checking out OkCupid on his phone. Suddenly, a wild Asian girl appeared:

Ok, enough talking in third-person. So you can see this girl was super forward right from the beginning (heads up, a girl being that aggressively forward while sober is a HUGE red flag – something I wasn’t smart enough to know at the time. Since then, literally EVERY girl who’s ever been that forward and said she wants sex……

Offbeat: Andy Gets a Tattoo


I wrote the first half of this article while sitting in a waiting room, just before getting my first ever tattoo.

Damn, this is one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. I can’t believe I’m doing something this stupid. I’m about to get my first tattoo.

Rationally, I know this isn’t a stupid decision. I’ve wanted a tattoo for at least 2 years, maybe longer. I’ve researched hundreds of tattoo studios and artists, thought for many many many many months about what design I want. I came up with something meaningful to me (a bowling pin, something which has featured……

Offbeat: How I Lost $28,000

Crypto Portfolio

Andy does his best not to cry over spilt milk.

“You’re So Lucky…”

Play Me a Sad Song

Andy yells at pre-determinists and makes the case for hard bloody work.

My Transformation

Andy is Babushka

Andy describes his journey from complete and utter loser to slightly-less-of-a-loser.

Give Yourself Permission to Suck

One Small Step for Man...

Andy gives himself an hour to write an article, and explains why it’s ok (and perfectly normal) to totally suck at things sometimes.

Hello world!

Andy finally sets up his own site.